Realization

Someone sent me a message. Yes someone sent me a harsh message for no fault of mine. Someone so close to me sent me those harsh words for expressing my general opinion; the words that were as sharp as a sword. The opinion was as general as saying “I consider vanilla ice cream too boring”. I never understood why the person reacted that way. But I was hurt deep inside because I never expected that person to talk that way. And I never understood the reason for them to get hurt. But when I thought about it, I had learning! It was an opportunity for me to correct my flaws. How many times would I have shouted at my brother, at my mom and dad, at my best friend Ashok for no mistake of them? 

When an opinion is said in a general discussion, I would sometimes take it too personally, put myself into that situation and analyze the same. When the opinion contradicts my belief, I take no time to think on why the opinion was told, on whether it is a general opinion or on what is really being conveyed. I get angry because, I have already attached myself to the opinion. I don’t shout at everyone, but I shout only to people who are close to me. Because, I know, no matter what I do, they would never mistake me. Is it not taking advantage of their forgiving nature? They are still close to me because, they consider me important. Ashok has said sorry to me for no mistake in his part because he considered the relationship important than his ego. I knew yesterday, only yesterday, on how many times I had hurt them with my harsh words.

Speaking before thinking is a bad habit that can hurt others in the most important areas of their lives. Relationships will suffer an end very soon.  Our speech shapes our lives. Time and again we find ourselves in situations where the outcome depends on what we say and how we say it. Our words are a reflection of who we are. If our words are hurting others for no mistake of them, we’re presenting ourselves as being thoughtless, careless or just plain hurtful. To talk without thinking is to shoot without aiming. Speak without thinking, and your words can cut like a knife. 

There are three options to deal a situation. One is to react like me; Two is to keep the mouth shut like my brother does and the other is to respond like Ashok. Yes. I always react and he always responds. I will never react from now on I have learnt the lesson in the hardest way. People get to know the mistake only when they experience the result themselves.

All of us have people in our lives who drive us crazy. We've spent hours reliving the unfair, unappreciative, inconsiderate treatment they have inflicted on us. But getting mad at this person makes just about as much sense as getting mad at a chair for being a chair. The person is who the person is. If we had their genes, their background, and their parents, God knows… we might be like them. It's not easy, but we can do it. We can try to suppress our inclination to speak when angry; bite our tongue. Once we appreciate the payoff of saying nothing (that silence keeps us from alienating people and damaging our own success), we have a chance of getting better!

Yes, we all understand why things had to happen that way. We understand the reason for causing the pain in someone’s heart. You know… we understand it very late. We understand after letting our words out. Mere understanding does not chase away the hurt. It does not call upon the sun when dark clouds have loomed over them. Let the rain come soon if it must come! And let it wash away all the negative thoughts of ours before we let them out.